Labels: I'm a Slut & You're Cheap.

Snobby Brit with bad teeth. Cheap Jew. Promiscuous Brazilians. Fat and obnoxious Americans. Depressed Goths who hate society. Chinese people can't drive. Dumb blond. Punks are a menace to society. Gays are flamboyant. They're labels, stereotypes and judgements and at some point in all of our lives we've either been victim to it or been the one labelling others.

I recently had a conversation about labelling with a fellow foodie friend of mine over dinner the other night when he mentioned that he believed that stereotypes existed because they were true.

So then you think it's accurate if someone said Jewish people are cheap?

Of course, because we are!

[Please note: he didn't offer to pay for the bill.]

I had to think about this for a second...

I've dated several Jewish men and all of them were more generous than most men I've dated. Then I remembered how insulted I was when someone long ago told me of a stereotype that all Brazilian women are promiscuous. Personally, I'd like to think I live in a personal world of self-respect.

After some thought regarding my foodie friend's belief...no, I wasn't buying his theory.

Quickly changing the subject in an effort to avoid an all out debate with a stubborn friend of mine who carries a rather large chip on his shoulder, I decided to finish dinner and make my way home. However, that evening as I laid in bed, his words began to swim in my head and I just couldn't put it to rest. I was slightly annoyed with his narrow-mindedness, but I couldn't help to question if I'm guilty for doing the same.

While I've done it to protect the names of men that have come and go, I too have placed labels on people. Mr. Hollywood, The Intellect, Mr. Music Man, The Chef, Mr. Hair, Mr. Biscotti. I've identified every man with either their profession, their personality or a physical trait. I realized, I'm no better...I'm just as bad.

Then there's food...

I warn my patients to stay away from foods in grocery stores with labels. Think about it for a second. A carrot will never have to prove itself. Instead it sits there humble and quiet while a box of sugary O's several aisles down are screaming about its whole grain goodness. My papa always told me, don't trust the guy who talks to much. If you're really that good, you don't need to prove yourself to anyone...and he was right.

I'm still not a fan of food labels, but I do think it's worth mentioning when a product is trans fat free since they do increase the risk of cardiovascular disease. However typically these labels will be on processed foods and not whole foods that live out of a box. Not to mention, it would be helpful if commercial meat was labeled with the array of chemical, genetically modified and hormonal sprinkling they contain. Maybe then will those who are hesitant on organics will realize exactly what they're eating.

As for people. I think about my old friend who recently weight lifted into acceptance when he came out and told me he was gay. No, I never would have suspected it. He didn't fit into the flamboyant gay stereotype.

Melissa, you will NEVER see me in a pair of chaps or on a giant float at Gay Pride.

Then there's Mr. Biscotti. Somehow I wanted him to fit into a label that we were more than we were ever meant to be. Instead, maybe I just need to enjoy the moment and his company and see that his entrance into my life may just be presenting its own set of lessons that I need to appreciate.

Then there's looking into the mirror. We pinch our backs or waistline and pull up our breasts to where they use to sit. We label ourselves as fat, ugly and not good enough. We become ingrained with these thoughts, with emotions that stick with us, which lead into actions that project into the world and results and dictates our physical, emotional and spiritual success in life.

True sexiness, power, confidence and beauty is inherent in what lies beyond our physical labels. It transcends into a deeper part which would explain why when we first meet someone we can't seem to place what it is about them that makes them so great. It's energy that exists in all of us and it's affected by our thoughts, our lifestyle and what we eat. Energy when cultivated, can be down right sexy.

Yes you...you sexy little molecules...get over here....

Too often we forget what matters and that somehow allow ourselves to believe that all stereotypes and labels are true. I'm not saying it's easy to live free of judgement, but maybe we can do ourselves and others a little favour and become more aware. After all, if we want to put a label on others and ourselves, maybe its worth a shot trying to become a little more positive. Somehow, I get the feeling the world would be a much happier and more accepting place for all of us to live in.

Weight Lifting Into Acceptance

No matter how much you want to deny it, no matter how much you want to resist the urge, you just can't. Sometimes it becomes so overwhelming that you might even become a little scared, maybe even a little turned on. It isn't until you completely surrender, that you're able to fall into acceptance and the weight is lifted.

When I got a dramatic message from an old friend, I knew something was up. He needed to see me. He needed to tell me something and it had to be in person. His whole life had apparently taken a complete 180.

So as I got out of my car, I began to walk up to the restaurant and saw him outside pacing with his hands shoved in his pockets and shoulders to his ears.

He looks nervous, I thought.

My palms started to sweat and I had no idea what life had showed my good friend, but I wondered, Did he get someone pregnant? Is he sick?

I knew all about the universe's antics. In all of two years I was engaged, bought a home, left, sold the home and everything I owned, moved to the Estrogen Den and went back to school. Yes, change and I know each other well.

Hey buddy, what are you doing? Why aren't you waiting for me inside? It's freezing out here.

I need to tell you something...something before we go inside.

What is going on? Why are you being so dramatic? What happened? You're smitten aren't you?

Mel, you have no idea...

I knew it. He had caught the bug and now he was ready to have a big fat Italian wedding and a whole five bambinos.

That's great! Who is she? Do I know her?

Mel, I'm seeing a man...I'm gay.

[Freeze frame]

I know what you're going to ask...and no, I never knew.

Never even an inkling did I suspect it. There standing in front of me was my good friend who had always been Mr. Non-Committal with women, the joker and who I thought was sewing his wild oats ever since dropping a substantial amount of weight. Little did I know that there was still more weight to unload.

[Unfreeze frame]

That's amazing.

Really?

Of course, what did you think I was going to say?

Wrapped up in the intensity of fear and happiness, my friend looked lighter than I had ever seen him before. Finally escaping the cold, we went into the restaurant, ordered some wine and sat down for dinner. After that much energy being thrown around, we were famished. But it was the end of the day and it was past 8pm - hardly the time to eat. Generally my last meal tends to be comprised of two things: protein and greens (surprise, surprise). After a full week of emotional chaos and ending that time of the month I was feeling a little tired or as we'd say in Chinese Medicine...blood deficient. We use up blood when we're stressed, when we exercise too hard, when we abuse our bodies and after our menses every month. I knew that having a little red meat and greens would help to rebuild my blood and not make me bloated if I were to eat protein and starch (bad food combining). I needed all the energy I could muster. My buddy deserved that much. He needed my full attention and I wanted to know everything, meet his new boyfriend and find out how they met.

There at the restaurant, we got teary-eyed, laughed nervously and caught up. Even though I've known him for almost seven years, he seemed like a completely new person. He was lighter, happier and on his way to becoming fearless. No longer did he feel like he had to hide or make excuses to himself for who he thought he should be. Instead, he took on all the courage he could muster and came face to face with himself. Now happily swimming in acceptance and gratitude, he not only introduced me to the new him, but also was being reacquainted. Finally he found the true love he was looking for...in himself.

Walking Tall

On her way to work one day, my sister Cilla still waking up, was on her way to the bus stop. Passing by a construction site, she practically jumped out of her grey Mary Jane heels when they began to whistle and yell out Hey Mama! Feeling embarrassed and armed with only her coffee travel mug, lunch box and purse, she quickly picked up her heels and slid into home base. There in a bus shelter sardined against a larger woman dressed in what looked like an old Italian couch and a woman with a screaming child, she was safe.

After hearing her story, I began to dig a little deeper into the issue at hand. Coming from a Brazilian background, women generally don't mind to be catcalled and in fact, take it as a compliment. However in North America we feel harassed and oggled at. It disgusts us and embarrasses us! However, Cilla shamefully admitted, Maybe it was the heels Mel, but somehow, I kind of liked it. There amongst a sweaty pack of hammer-wielding men, my sister felt a boost of confidence, even though it was partially in the closet.

Is it possible that maybe we can see it as something positive? Can we take it as a compliment, hold our head up high and walk tall?

Whistling men have been around for centuries you see. Dating as far back as the Seven Dwarfs, those little men whistled as they jollied through the magical forest, even when Snow White was present. Granted, they weren't whistling in a salacious manner, but it was still whistling. It's even reported that the "little people" who played the Munchkins in the Wizard of Oz were famously horny during the production of the movie. Go figure, men (even little ones) have been vocally expressing their horniness for centuries. So then what about women?

Was it the dawn of women's lib that made us feel so objectified? Can we for just a second possibly see it in a positive light versus feeling victimized by the whistles from a passing car? Granted, there are times when I just don't have a moment or patience for it. Walking down the street filled with piss and vinegar several months back, I was on a mission. Being told to just smile baby was certainly the last thing I wanted to hear. So yes, I get it, sometimes, we're just not in the mood. But sometimes, I will admit, that it does make me feel sexy too.

So in the spirit of sexy and given that I've had a hard week, I treated myself to a little Coco-Carob Pudding which is hardly anything to feel guilty about. The calcium rich treat is smooth and creamy that I can enjoy eating emotionally without the guilt. I began to think about the food connection to all of this. That granted, sometimes we rely on others to make us feel or tell us that we're sexy, but few of us actually take the initiative to do the things that create sexiness from the inside out. One of which is food. By eating dirty food (a.k.a. processed, junk food), we don't allow for real food (particularly an abundance of greens) to give us the vitality we need to feel sexy. Instead, we walk around feeling tired and sluggish getting coffee after coffee to keep us awake, and get take-out from the nearest place on our lunch. The result? Depression, weight gain, headaches, hormone imbalances and the inability to manage stress. So just when a construction worker hollers at us, we're irritated. Is it fair to say that maybe we're even to some some degree irritated with ourselves?

Maybe if we just treat ourselves with sexy, whole foods we will gain the confidence to slip on those strappy heels and walk along side that construction site. At that point we can either make the decision to walk away without being appalled and yelling back profanity, or allow our sexy selves to confidently smile from the inside out.

Start walking...

[This message brought to you by These Boots Are Made For Walking by Nancy Sinatra]

Spanked & Taught a Lesson: Courtesy of the Universe

I've officially been spanked. The universe has decided to pin me to the ground, teach me a lesson and have its way with me...and not in a way that I would have liked. This happens to all of us since the universe works in funny ways. It brings people into our lives to mirror who we are and sometimes it forces us to let go...even if it means having someone break into your car and steal all your things. Yes, this is life a la Melissa and I am not impressed. Feeling the weight pulling me down, I threw on my runners and ran on my treadmill.

[2K: Kings of Leon blares but doesn't mute Melissa's racing mind...]

LESSON #1: Letting Go

Mr. Biscotti and I have attempted friendship. Surprisingly, we didn't have sex however we certainly did stretch the intimacy boundaries laying in bed until 3pm. Unable to ignore our rumbling bellies, we searched for matching socks off the floor and behind the bed and made our way to the south east end of the city for a little Italian treat. Throwing my heavy knapsack behind my seat, we slammed our car doors shut and made our way in for a little pizza and pasta. Later, with tummy's full and undoing a button, I dropped off Biscotti Man and made my way back to Cookie Cutterville. Flipping over the seat, there it was, just a foot mat.

What the...

My bag was gone.

[6K: Melissa begins to remember the horror...oh the horror...and picks up the pace.]

This can't be happening. My new knapsack, my laptop, my digital Canon EOS Rebel camera...gone. Gone...gone...GONE!

[6.24K: Melissa has to slow down as memories of nausea comes flooding back]

Feeling completely violated and helpless, I called everyone and their sister.

Oh my God, this can't be happening. Everything is GONE.

[Hyperventilating and stuttering ensues]

M-m-my laptop...m-m-my cammerrrra...m-m-my bag...

[Enter in snotty crying]

Oh God, m-m-my make-up! THEY...TOOK...MY...MAKE-UP!!

[Melissa gasps, leans over and dry heaves.]

But everything wasn't gone...it was all just stuff.

My laptop was on its last legs anyways and was given to me by the Ex-Fiance two and a half years ago. Somehow, since then I became an electronic pack rat. There on my hard drive were photos of my Vera Wang wedding dress and files from my past life in advertising. Why was I still keeping all of this? Why didn't I throw it all away any sooner? If the Universe was giving me a fresh start on life, this was its first slap way of making me part with the old whether I liked it or not.

Which brings me to...

LESSON #2: People & The Mirror

[9K: Foo Fighters and sweat drips down from Melissa's chin...but still running]

Lately, I've been on a roll. Since the Intellect, I've successfully dated men that have all had one common thread: emotional unavailabile. This last round included Mr. Biscotti, a man who openly admitted to being all over the place with much to sort out from his past. However playing the friendship card certainly didn't work in this scenario as boundaries were crossed and feelings hurt.

[10K: Black Sheep's, You Can Deal With This or You Can Deal With That plays and Melissa guns it in an effort to run away from her thoughts.]

Is it possible that a part of me is still not available? Did Mr. Biscotti and I have too much in common? Too much fire, too much intensity that it was bound to blow up? Is the Universe forcing me to be alone for just a little while longer?

[Melissa looks over to her left of her treadmill and sees her dying roses in the corner of the room]

God, he didn't even out live the life span of the dozen red roses he gave me.

[11K...12K...13K: Full sprint despite the aching in Melissa's knees]

Cooling down and finally getting off, I layed down on my yoga mat in shivasna.

[Fredric Chopin: Nocturne C# minor plays and Melissa's mind begins to slip and muscles begin to relax into the mat. Memories begin to flash through her mind.]

That laptop was with me in Teluride, Colorado when I was with the Chef over a year ago. I sat writing entries overlooking the mountains...

I layed on my belly on an uncomfortable fire escape in the Batcave in Ghettoville trying to shoot my new foodie pics with that camera in natural light...

That laptop was with me when I would read my entries to Sarah in the Estrogen Den over a glass of wine at midnight...

My camera was with me when I took a venture on my own and travelled through Rome, Casperia and Florence. It captured the beauty and thankfully I have them all online...

And then there was Mr. Biscotti who was the first to make me food that fed my soul. No kidding, this is just about the best soup that have graced my taste buds.

SEXY PUY LENTIL SOUP WITH SMOKED CHICKEN

2 medium onions

2 tbsp minced garlic

2 tsp chopped fresh ginger

2 cups chopped smoked chicken

2 cups roasted butternut squash

2 cups kale chopped

1 3/4 cup puy lentils

6 cups chicken stock

1 tsp whole cumin, coriander and fennel seed (grind in a coffee grinder)

Heat olive oil, add chopped onions, garlic and smoked chicken.

Cook until onions are caramelized, add ground spices and chopped ginger and cook for an additional minute. Add chicken stock, butternut squash, puy lentils and cook until lentils are cooked. Add kale and season with salt and pepper.

You may not be familiar with puy lentils from Le Puy region in France but they are certainly worth trying out in the kitchen. Their small, slate-green colour have a distinct blue marbling, have a peppery taste and hold their shape after they've been cooked. Salt is added in the end to avoid the lentils from turning hard prematurely. In Chinese Medicine, lentils benefit the heart but has a major affinity for the kidneys, which helps to nourish and sedate our fears. Probably why lentil soup is considered by many cultures around the world as comfort food.

[Melissa's becomes one with her mat and peacefulness resumes]

Sometimes its really hard to part with things and people in our lives, but sometimes, it's necessary. Whether they're inanimate objects or not, they all carry some sort of energy that may tug at our heart, show us another view of the world or even ourselves. Maybe rather than to blame others for how things turned out, we can trust that it all played out just the way it was supposed to. That we have to take the experience for what it is, learn from them and move on. And maybe then we'll be able to wade in the beauty of not only letting go but the sheer acceptance of it.

How to Give a Shit

I was warned this would happen. That I'd come back from Italy and within in a week I'd be feeling the pressure of being back home...and they were right. I'm already looking at my to-do list and beginning to feel overwhelmed. It's officially that time of month and I've already had several cups of my Chocolate Matcha Love In a Cup to soothe my little soul...yes it's one of those days. My laptop and I have been seeing too much of one another. I swear it's officially my new dysfunctional boyfriend...unfortunately this electronic piece doesn't have THOSE kinds of capabilities. Looking back at my photos from Italy and remembering the stories along with them, I remembered the perspective it all gave me. So I did what I had to do...

[Melissa slowly takes several steps away from her laptop]

...I forced myself to give a shit...about me.

As a practitioner and with the inherent nurturing nature that many women have, it's almost easy to be selfless, but now I needed take time pour moi. I've been up since 7am with a good hard run, working from 8:30am - 7pm and I think it's time to give myself a little lovin'...um no, not THAT kind of lovin'.

Giving a Shit is a technical term which denotes a je ne sais quoi, a certain joie de vivre but more so a flare for how we individually take care of ourselves. Mind you, these ways are vast and different and sometimes a little personal. A part of my Giving a Shit time was dedicated to calling girlfriends I hadn't spoken to in a while. I asked them what they did...

Daniella: I slather on a mask on my face and slurp an almond banana smoothie from a twisty straw (it's hard to eat otherwise). I sit in front of the tube, slip on the old classic, "His Girl Friday" and fall dreamy eyed at Cary Grant. I'm sure he'd find me sexy as I sit there with my short hair sticking up on the top of my head. Oh ya, just call me Alfalfa baby.

Kate: After a long day, I'll take shower #2. It doesn't mean I'm stinky, it just means the acoustics in there are great for a late night rendition of Stevie Wonder's Talking Book Album. I mean I don't remember all the songs, but I sure try to get through what I remember from side B. Then I'll treat myself to some 70% dark chocolate and maybe a glass of wine.

As part of my Give a Shit night, I slipped into a hot bath with bubbles to the rim and wedged in my ear phones. Laying there I bobbed my head and toes as I sang Rich Woman by Robert Plant and Alison Kraus to a muted bathroom. Slipping my toes out one by one onto my fuzzy white mat, I reached for my coconut butter with wet hands...

[CANNONBALL COCONUT OIL SHOOTS ACROSS THE BATHROOM!]
Shit, shit, shit...okay, that could have been worse...it certainly didn't end up like the Sexy Cacao Summer Rice Crispies did.

Regaining my ever so sexy klutsy composure, I picked up the coconut butter, sat on the edge of my bathtub and smoothed on the coconut oil. Who knew it could have so many uses?

Lastly, there is something about me and French films. I know it sounds a little tacky, but seriously, it's a total guilty pleasure.

This Give a Shit night has been brought to you by Coco Avant Chanel with Audrey Tautou and Melissa Ramos.

Yes, I took myself on a movie date sitting on the comfort of my own couch. Then, somewhere in the back of my closet I remembered the button down shirt I stole from an ex a while ago. It hasn't nothing to do with memories, but I have a thing for wearing men's dress shirts. Pulling it out, I slipped it on, tied up my hair, threw on my glasses and I was in heaven. So while I didn't have time to make my Sweet & Salty Popcorn Love, I packed me a little bowl of broken pieces of dark chocolate, gogi berries and nuts...yum. Together I get a good antioxidant punch, plus a dose of magnesium from the chocolate which would explain why we crave chocolate during that time of the month. But more so, I get the crunchy textures, contrasting flavours and a fun little mix bowl of colours. Yep, I amuse myself with food. All in good Sexy Food Therapy fun.

When the movie ended, the white word FIN overlayed on a black screen. I sniffled and looked over to my boyfriend...my laptop.

And with deep love and adoration for him, I kindly stroked his cover and whispered...

...not tonight honey.

And fell fast asleep.

Goodnight.

The Snotty Princess

Once upon time, a fellow princess fell ill. Panicked over the possibility that she may just have the worst flu in the land, her other princess friends quickly went running for the hills. Some went straight to get immunized while others sought help naturally. Could it be done? Could the snotty little princess be saved while her friends are protected naturally?

Absolutely.

The one thing all of them had in common was fear. Fear drove them to become stressed which weakens the immune system. Through every channel they'd flip through, these princesses would be inundated with more news coverage on how they needed to protect themselves as soon as possible before the nasty bug got a hold of them. Mass hysteria grew...

On the other side of town, the Little Princess Chef was surrounded by an array of colourful food and aromas of cinnamon and nutmeg as she whipped up her Sexy Squash Muesli Breakfast. With booty shaking to her morning music, she was quickly thrown off as she heard loud thumping on the door. Racing over, she quickly opened the door and there they were begging for help and advice.

It was time for a little Sexy Food Therapy...

YES TO...

VITAMIN C

Probably the most disregarded vitamin, Vitamin C is excellent in both prevention and on the onset of a cold/flu. It is also one of the number one vitamins that should be consumed for when trying to combat stress and support our adrenals. Foods to consume are citrus, red pepper, parsley, broccoli and other dark greens. The Little Princess Chef quickly suggested her Sexy Recovery Green Shake which is loaded with vitamin C. However when the Little Princess Chef wants to supplement her current Sexy Food diet, she opts for natural forms of vitamin C like Camu C. She'll either mix 1 tsp of the powder into her shakes or take up to two capsules three times daily when she's surrounded by other snotty princesses.

WATER

Again, so disregarded, but when an individual is dehydrated, their stress levels shoot up. Water helps to flush toxins out and keep our blood flowing smoothly. Not to mention, we're made up of 70% water, so it would make sense to stay hydrated. Adding in some lemon and aloe is a perfect, so the Little Princess Chef suggested the Lemony Aloe Drink for her friends to drink throughout the day.

WARMING FOODS

On the onset of being sick, body temperatures rise in an effort to kill off the bacteria. However when various medications are taken to break the fever, we essentially kill the cleaning lady or our Wei Qi (our natural defence system). Pitty really, she was doing a good job. So instead, strengthen her, make her a Wonder Woman Wei Qi Fighter. Or sweat it out. Running to her stove to put on a cauldron of water, the Little Princess Chef made a huge quantity of the Sexy Hot Cold Kicker for her friends to try.

MAGICAL HERBS

Fumbling through her jars, the Little Princess Chef drew a large piece of astragalus like drawing out a sword from her artillery box. Dropping large pieces of this sexy herb itself into a pot of soup, she magically boosted the immune building property of the soup ten fold. Other sexy herbs like the reishi mushroom didn't boad well with her soups, but they could still be taken regardless. Pulling out a set of tinctures, the Little Princess Chef began to explain that these were all liquid, alcoholic extracts of these immune boosting herbs. 20 drops taken three times daily away from food was their best course of action. However she gave a word of caution with these formulas and mentioned that they must be taken as prevention only. Many of these mushrooms tonify the system which according to Chinese Medical theory will also tonify the cold and give it muscles to stay in the system longer.

SAY NO TO...

EXCESS AMOUNTS OF DAIRY

Small amounts of most foods is okay, however a large amount of dairy will create mucous in the system which can harbour bacteria. For those who are already sick, dairy will create more phlegm in the chest and should be avoided at all costs.

EXCESS AMOUNTS OF WHEAT & STARCH

Too much wheat in particular will create a similar effect to how dairy functions in the system.

EXCESS AMOUNTS OF SUGAR

Sugar will weaken the system and also promote mucous and phlegm in the system, so it's important than when having it, that it's kept at a bare minimum.

EXCESS AMOUNTS OF ALCOHOL

While the Little Princess Chef enjoyed her glass of red wine from time to time, she also made sure to keep herself balanced. Having to turn down various parties, she knew that an excess amount of partying could weaken her immune system. So she had to be a good girl...from time to time...

COLD

Ice cold drinks, ice creams and other cold beverages are probably the worst that anyone can have while sick. In Chinese Medical theory, the cold invades the system and adding more cold will further promote it. Generally adding cold drinks to the system will kill stomach fire and weaken our digestive system. Over 70% of our immunity is in our digestive system, so ensuring that it's functioning and eliminating properly is the certainly the key to health.

After scribbling on papers and cooking up a storm, the Little Princess Chef looked up and noticed her place was taken by storm. While her little abode was frowning at the mess she had left everywhere, her friends wore comforting smiles now that they had built the security and peace they needed to tackle this season effectively.

Days passed and her Snotty Princess friend had taken the time to nourish herself and was now back on her feet. She had realized she was running herself into the ground with work and that maybe this was her body's way of trying to stop her. Over lunch one day, they spoke and the Little Princess Chef assured her that there is a place for medications, however sometimes before running in fear towards them, the magic can be found as close as in the earth around us.

Mastering the Art of the F-Word

The city is filled with women I know that are notorious for jumping head first into something...me included. Stuck in a bubble of bliss we're clouded with thoughts that a new Mr. Potential could possibly be Mr. Perfect. Nothing could be wrong with him. Passion and hormones prevail and before we know it we're laying next to someone breathless and in a misty afterglow after only date #3. Should I have waited longer? Maybe this is the perfect time to master the art of the f-word...

This all began during my first nights of Italy after the tarantula got a hold of me. Looking for comfort, communication began with someone from back home. Offering a few helpful sexy food therapy tips, I kindly said I'd accept payment in the form of my favourite dip-me-up cappuccino treat, biscotti. Through back and forth notes, I realized that Mr. Biscotti while successful with his current career, had a tough go at life in the past and was still dealing. Throwing away his black book several months prior, he wasn't looking for casual, but certainly wasn't ready for a relationship. Mr. Biscotti in fact, was stuck in the grey, in the middle and in the eye of the storm...with none other than himself. A process he felt he needed to tackle on his own.

After three weeks of communication, I arrived back home and was greeted with biscotti ("food": f-word #1). We began to hang out where intensity made the air thin and breath became shallow. Lips pressed firmly together drove a rush to the toes and I began to realized, I have to hold back.

This isn't a date #3 story.
There hasn't been sex and there won't be...I refuse to feel empty.

Throwing temptation to the ground and lifting will to the highest heavens, I was convinced we were going to master the art of being friends (f-word #2). However just as Mr. Biscotti lived in the grey, I realized that life around me was being washed with the same colour. We weren't typical friends. So when he decided to kiss someone at a bar prior to my arrival and lie about doing so...it puts fire in my belly.

[Enter flowers and f-word #3]
Breathe Melissa...

Coincidentally giving him tips about the same thing several days prior, I noticed...God, I have heartburn. What am I not digesting...

LEMONY ALOE SEXY ELIXIR
1 cup water
1 ounce aloe gel (inner fillet)
Juice from 1/2 organic lemon

Combine all ingredients and drink on the onset of heartburn or upon wakening as a morning tonic.

It's a little confusing going into the healthfood store and seeing an array of aloe gels and juices. I have always found that for issues with heartburn or ulcerations, the gel has a better coating and soothing effect. Dating back to the Egyptian pharaohs, the gel was used medicinally for a wide range of purposes, including embalming the dead...oye! In Chinese Medicine, aloe is a yin tonic, it clears heat in the system, particularly stomach heat which when coupled with lemon does even a better job. Although lemon may come across as being acidic on the outside, it's property on the inside is purely alkaline. Drinks like peppermint, while cooling does have the tendency to relax and open up the cardiac phincter creating acid reflux to propel upwards even more so. In addition, aloe drinks should be used with caution by pregnant women due to its ability to stimulate the uterus.

While there are many thoughts behind the physical causes of acid reflux, we have to question the mind-body connection. In my case maybe I can't digest this situation...maybe I need to walk away. Or maybe, I'm attracting emotionally unavailable men because to some degree maybe I am as well.

Drinking this down, I thought about Mr. Biscotti, my f-riend...
[Melissa takes a couple of steps back]

Clearly, I have mastered the art of various f-words but somehow I still have heart for Mr. Biscotti, so this doesn't mean I'm walking away...just yet. However, with that said, I'm certainly not going to close off doors to someone new just because I'm waiting for one from Mr. Biscotti to open up. Patience has never been a virtue of mine and truthfully, in the long run, I'm a little too colourful to be playing in a state of grey.